Sometimes being the “bigger person” seems impossible in a complicated blended family situation.
What if you’re continually being put in last position? What if your marriage seems to be heading south because the kids or the ex seem to always be demanding something, and needing more of just about everything?
Or what if your feelings are being invalidated because everyone else will put up a bigger stink? Because everyone knows YOU will suck it up for the sake of keeping the peace, right?
Yes, sometimes it is just easier to keep your mouth shut and bite your tongue, yet again. But at what cost? Your joy and sanity? Or maybe you’ve already exploded and you’re not sure how to move forward.
Because at the end of the day, we all want a healthy, peaceful home.
After all, stepfamilies don’t just include us and our own ideals — there’s often an ex spouse or partner involved, or maybe difficult in-laws. Sometimes, everyone seems to have an opinion, right? Then there are all the different rules and expectations between households, and possibly rejection and hurt feelings on top of it all.
It can be pretty tricky to manage our emotions to say the least. It’s pretty tricky to know which boundaries to form, what behavior to accept, and what to tolerate and not tolerate.
And yet…
And yet, after all that, God asks us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and treat others the way we want to be treated.
How can we apply the Golden Rule to blended families?
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12
Well, there you have it:
Not only is it biblical to treat others the way we want to be treated, it’s the only way we can expect there to be hope of true, healing peace!
Empathy is your friend here.
1. Keep in mind the reason WHY the person is treating you poorly.
2. Recognize the hurt or the misunderstanding behind their actions.
3. Look at the sin and their own need for a Savior.
4. Ask God to show you love for the unlovable.
You may never fully understand all the reasons for their behaviors, and chances are, a lot of it doesn’t even have to do with you!
But the good news is, God isn’t expecting us fully understand everything.
What He does expect of us is stated in the “Golden Rule” verse.
Within the confines of establishing healthy boundaries, we should treat the people in our life the way we would want to be treated…even when they don’t *eh hem* deserve it.
I promise God will show you ways to have empathy and to love difficult people if you ask and listen. And He will also give you the wisdom you need to set appropriate boundaries. Just ask Him.
And, hard as it is to believe sometimes, God loves those “unlovable” people in your life just as much as He loves you.
He’s more concerned about the condition of your heart, anyway!
