Mother’s Day for stepmoms – should stepmoms be celebrated on Mother’s Day? After all, we’re not “real moms,” right?
Get your FREE PRINTABLE to discover how to become a confident, content stepmom!
Let’s ask the former me, the one who met a man and fell in love with not just him, but with his two preteen kids.
The one who made a conscious decision to give of her time, money and heart to his children…sharing, sacrificing and serving.
That felt real.
The one who made a vow to love and cherish her new stepchildren alongside her new husband, which was accompanied by sometimes having to bury dreams of what she had thought marriage and motherhood might look like.
That felt real.
The one who has stayed up late helping with homework, organizing birthday parties and sleepovers, and then got up early to make breakfast and pack school lunches.
That felt real.
The one…
…who has sat in parent-teacher conferences and audiences for band, choir and theater performances, or in the sports stands, cheering her stepkids on,
…who has gotten up in the middle of the night to clean up after a sick stepchild or make a call to the ER doctor,
…who has spent hours and hours of her marriage trying to talk through the frustrations of co-parenting, getting on the same page with discipline, and wondering if the whole stepfamily thing will ever make sense…
…but who has gotten up the next day and made a conscious decision to serve and love the ones God put in her care.
That has all felt real.
…the one who has dearly valued her stepkids’ emotions, dreams, spiritual journey, and has prayed over their lives.
That was definitely real.
No, I’m not their biological mom.
No, I didn’t go through 9 months of pregnancy, labor, or even the younger years of life with them.
And no, I would not try to take their mother’s place. And as a stepmom who loves her stepkids, it’s my job to encourage and honor their relationship with their mother the best way I can.
But what do we stepmoms offer?
We offer major heart space to children we did not give birth to.
We offer a kind smile, hands that serve, and patience for things that just aren’t easy or natural.
We give and give, though sometimes we are reminded that we’re not the “real mom.”
It’s true. We are not the “real” moms in the biological sense.
But we are real. We are real people. We are daughters of God who have our own real dreams, desires, thoughts and feelings.
Stepmoms, did you know you have your own day to celebrate if you want? Stepmother’s Day is Sunday, May 21, 2023!
So should stepmoms be celebrated on Mother’s Day?
These words are for you, my fellow stepmom. These words can be your voice when you need the words to express how you are feeling around this time of the year — a time that can feel so awkward, so hollow, so painful.
Whether you celebrate Mother’s Day is up to you to decide.
Because I KNOW that so many of you are giving of yourselves and your heart to your stepkids. Some of you are doing this, even when you have been blatantly rejected by your stepkids for various reasons.
I know that one of the things we stepmoms have in common is the desire to be seen for the person we are on the inside.
We share a desire to be seen beyond the “stepmom” title that can mean different things to so many people.
We’re doing all the mom things: welcoming kids into our life with open arms, inviting struggle and hardship…
…but knowing it’s worth it because of the love and grace that God has given us.
Stepmoms, you are real.
You are seen. You are loved. Your investment is changing lives. Keep on loving and doing what God has called you to do.
And even if it’s just you and your husband celebrating you on Mother’s Day, or if it means celebrating Stepmother’s Day on May 21, 2023, celebrate hard, knowing you are doing a good thing!
My Mother’s Day gift to you, Stepmom!
Click HERE for this free printable for stepmoms for 8 ways to go from feeling like an outsider to a confident, content stepmom!
