Have you ever wondered if God really has a purpose for you as a step-parent…especially the one who feels rejected by his/her stepchildren?
I know how frustrating it can be to feel like you have no place in your own home. It can feel lonely, like you just don’t fit in to the chaos. Maybe you’re tired of being pushed out, accused of lies, disrespected.
But, friend, now is NOT forever.
Repeat after me:
“God wants to teach and reach my stepchild through me.“
It may not look pretty. In fact, it might at times be quite ugly!
The thing is, you may not even see the effects of your investment for years to come. Maybe not even till Heaven. But that doesn’t mean you’re not fulfilling God’s purpose!
Look into the child’s heart and know you are dealing with confusion and hurt. The rejection you may be feeling has likely nothing to do with you as a person, but the role you play in that child’s life.
What does teaching and reaching look like for you?
1. For some step-parents, this might mean you are another supportive adult in the child’s life: teaching, guiding and modeling and cheering on…at a distance they are comfortable with.
2. For others, especially if the relationship with the bio parent is unstable, geographically far away, or toxic, that child may cling more to you as a mother/father figure. You have the potential to reach a child’s heart and openly show a love that encourages, and builds trust and a deep bond.
3. Alternatively, you may be dealing with a hurting child who pushes you away out of resentment and confusion over a bio parent’s absence or inconsistent behavior. Or perhaps that child is even rejecting you because of a strained relationship with your spouse/partner, or with the other kids at your house.
4. What if you’re dealing with Parental Alienation Syndrome, and the child may want to connect with you but is forced (or threatened) to reject you or treat you poorly, otherwise the child’s bio parent will withhold love from him/her? In some cases, the child may have been fed so many lies about you and your home that, sadly, he believes that to be the truth.
In these situations, it’s imperative to form firm but loving boundaries. You can show through your words and actions that you are a stable, loving person in that child’s life without allowing the toxic behavior to ruin you or strip you of your purpose.
In all these cases, your behavior can represent Christ to your stepchild.
Commit to obeying Him in how you treat that child!
Regardless of the circumstances you are in; regardless of the season of life you’re in, know that God will use you in your stepchild’s life. He has given you stewardship over the life of your stepchild while in your care.
We can be a model of grace and integrity in the lives of our stepchildren by investing truth, patience and love.
Remember to look into the child’s heart and know you are dealing with confusion and hurt — and trust the process. God can and will use you to teach and reach your stepchild for Him.
That’s a pretty amazing purpose!
