Sometimes the day feels so hard;
it seems like they’ll never grow up.
Will they always resent us, say no to us, be disrespectful, not care?
The future feels so far off when we are in the trenches of training, teaching, molding, mentoring…
And we get lost in the today.
We see what we see today. We forget that there’s a tomorrow. The future seems so far off when the parenting gets heavy.
Helping them with homework when all they do is whine;
reminding him to put on a coat in the winter when all they want to do is argue;
wondering if her outfit will attract the wrong kind of attention;
then asking ourselves if we are being too hard on them.
Will we ever get to a happy place? To a place of mutual respect?
Are the investments worth it when we are struggling to run a household…much less remembering to take care of ourselves?
We repeat ourselves a million times a day: “Please turn off the lights behind you,” “Don’t forget to put your dishes away…” We say, “That was not appropriate,” “Don’t talk to your sister that way.”
We ask our spouse or partner: “Don’t they see the sacrifices?”
We ask ourselves: “Don’t they understand what this is costing me?”
We see what we see today. We forget that there’s a tomorrow.
They’ll never mature. They’ll never appreciate things. They’ll never understand.
They’ll never truly “get me.”
Or will they? It’s so easy to focus on the negatives…because the positives require faith.
Somehow, we don’t give up…
Because somehow we trust that God always turns todays into tomorrows.
So we keep loving. We keep serving. We press on and keep teaching and sacrificing and showing kindness. Because we care.
Some days we do more than other days. Sometimes we show kindness when we feel like it, and sometimes we show kindness even when we don’t feel like it.
Recently my 19-year old stepson and I were texting back and forth from his college. At the end of our conversation, he wrote:
“I really respect your grind and just making it work. You’re the kind of person I want to be.”
It took my breath away.
Me? He wants to be like me? Did I ever think I’d see those words from him? Did I ever think we’d have a good relationship after all those years of strain and hardship? Did I ever imagine he’d want to be anything like me at all?
Stepmoms, even when tomorrow seems so far away…
Even when it seems like they will never grow up…
Keep the faith.
They are watching. They do see our sacrifices. We see what we see today. Because there IS a tomorrow.
And sometimes tomorrow is closer than we think.
